I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize