I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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