i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
this hospital has no fireball
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Randomize
