Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
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