Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
