I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I wish i was in the wii world.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
