Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize