that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
