he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
