I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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