Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Randomize
