Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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