is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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