I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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