i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
