the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Your cock deserves a montage
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
