I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize