I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
