Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
