i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
