It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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