dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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