At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
