yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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