Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Randomize
