It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
PANTIES FOUND
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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