I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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