found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
