a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
