Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
You're a waste of cheezeits
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
