Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
