Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Randomize
