tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
