let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
