I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
