no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
