I love black thongs
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
