I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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