Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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