We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
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I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
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The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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