this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
That accounts for only three of the penises
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
