Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
