Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
