I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
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You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
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This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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