.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Randomize
