That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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