Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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