i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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