I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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