Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
