I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
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There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
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Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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