I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize