Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
