I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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