The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
did you just send me my own nude
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Randomize
