just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
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