thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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