And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
