I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Randomize
