Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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